top five beats

  1. A Love Bizarre by Sheila E. if this doesn’t make you get off your tail and jam, we can no longer be friends.
  2. Knee Deep by Zac Brown Band.  another example of summer chill.  YAAAAAS
  3. Send My Love by Adele.  never loved her until now.
  4. Ride by Twenty One Pilots.  like 311 but so much better.
  5. House Party by Sam Hunt. try to not feel like he is singing to you.  F U N.

25 things

I love the prose questionnaire or the things-you-don’t-know-about-me lists.  So, I have decided to share one with you about me.  Here goes:

  1. If I could get away with being a vegetarian, I would.  I love vegetables so much.  But the rest of my family does not, thus…
  2. I have two cell phones.  They each serve a super important purpose, and cannot be combined into one.
  3. My Audi wagon is my perfect car: fast, spacious, low to the ground, and the opposite of fussy.
  4. Wall calendars, lists, daily schedules are all a part of my world.  I have to write it down and see “the big picture” as well as the day’s tasks.
  5. My drink of choice these days is a vodka martini.  One isn’t enough and two are too many.
  6. I rarely order what I really want off a menu.  Instead, I will choose what I think is healthiest.  I rarely regret the nights I splurge.
  7. I am still addicted to hi-ball energy drinks.
  8. I am counting the days until our annual trip to Lake Tahoe.
  9. Dancing with my kids is one of my favorite things to do.
  10. I am so lucky to live in California again.
  11. My husband’s sarcasm is often only tolerated by me.  His personality is an acquired taste.  Most of the time, I find it super funny.  Sometimes, not so much!
  12. I love Birkenstock sandals. They are so ugly but so awesome.
  13. My hair looks best 3 days dirty.
  14. Summertime is so marvelous, but I dread how quickly it goes by.
  15. I still talk with our family nanny in Utah at least once a week if not more.
  16. How good are ribs?
  17. And tacos?
  18. Jo Malone’s English Pear & Freesia is my summer scent.
  19. My toenails are sunflower yellow right now and I have never loved a color so much as this.
  20. Lately, my car has been my office.  If it weren’t for podcasts, I would be miserable.
  21. I do my own eyebrows and I do not wax any of me.
  22. I think I bathe my children too little.  They smell fine.  But I have used the pool as an excuse for a few weeks now.  Yikes!
  23. I hate the flavors of Indian food.  Always have, and likely will never change.
  24. I have the best Mother in Law.  She is like a best friend that I just happen to be related to.  I would have married G just for her.
  25. I have terrible luck with babysitters.  Ask me about it sometime.

oh hey, me again

Just being totally frank.  This blog is public.  That gives me anxiety.  Anxiety is something I have suffered from most all of my life.  It intensified a way I never knew it could after I had my first child.  Thankfully, I was ready for pharmaceutical help.  And boy did it help.  But that was nine years ago.  Today, the dose of medication I take just isn’t enough, or life has grown to be too stressful, or who knows.  The reason I share this is because I go to post something, I pause.  What if my boss reads this?  What if I reveal too much?  What if this pouring of personal life is used in a way that would hurt my family?  Then I stop.  There are two people that read my blog with any regularity, and it is a miracle they still do.  I used to be a great blogger.  Now I am trapped in fear that this blog can never be what I want.  But I am going to just go for it.  So all two of you can assure me that my pontificate post is nothing to worry about.

But for reals, if you suffer from anxiety, there are ways to lessen the load.  If you have never talked to your doctor about it, do.  It is so simple to lessen the load.  Seriously.  You will be no different than you are now, just more able to deal with all that life has.  It can seem like there is no way to make anything better, like the world is about to set it’s entire load upon you. It isn’t, and the world continues regardless if you are in a panic or not.  I can tell you as someone has considered leaving this earth by my own hand, there’s help and it is there for you.  But the world keeps clicking along.  It is too big to care about our silly issues.  So I am asking you to take care of you with every option you have.  Don’t suffer anymore.