oh hey, me again

Just being totally frank.  This blog is public.  That gives me anxiety.  Anxiety is something I have suffered from most all of my life.  It intensified a way I never knew it could after I had my first child.  Thankfully, I was ready for pharmaceutical help.  And boy did it help.  But that was nine years ago.  Today, the dose of medication I take just isn’t enough, or life has grown to be too stressful, or who knows.  The reason I share this is because I go to post something, I pause.  What if my boss reads this?  What if I reveal too much?  What if this pouring of personal life is used in a way that would hurt my family?  Then I stop.  There are two people that read my blog with any regularity, and it is a miracle they still do.  I used to be a great blogger.  Now I am trapped in fear that this blog can never be what I want.  But I am going to just go for it.  So all two of you can assure me that my pontificate post is nothing to worry about.

But for reals, if you suffer from anxiety, there are ways to lessen the load.  If you have never talked to your doctor about it, do.  It is so simple to lessen the load.  Seriously.  You will be no different than you are now, just more able to deal with all that life has.  It can seem like there is no way to make anything better, like the world is about to set it’s entire load upon you. It isn’t, and the world continues regardless if you are in a panic or not.  I can tell you as someone has considered leaving this earth by my own hand, there’s help and it is there for you.  But the world keeps clicking along.  It is too big to care about our silly issues.  So I am asking you to take care of you with every option you have.  Don’t suffer anymore.